Short-Lived Loves and Reset Buttons

A few weeks ago, i ventured out my door.

And there you were. And you smiled.  And despite my own nervousness, i managed, despite myself, to smile too.  Farther and farther out the door from where i came.  You were there, holding out your hand.  And i didn’t know you.  You didn’t know me.  But we had five minutes.  Five minutes became an hour.  Then two.  Hours passed.  Then we stopped counting the time.  You came to know me.  I came to know you.  I came to know myself. Oblivious to everything else – obligations, work, home, health, reports, projects and the shrimp dying.

We kept talking.  And coming back.  Then we realized we were crazy.  You introduced me to Chuck Norris.  You laughed at my sorry attempts at jokes.  You were my tutor.  You graded my funny level.  I learned how to write again.  You called me babe.  And you became my litany of firsts.  And i was happy and i was terrified.  And you were scared too.  But you’ve been on this road before and you know the way around.  You wouldn’t get lost.  But i would.  I did.

Sometimes we get too caught up in our own fantasies.  That we overlook the things that are real.  Timezones.  Schedules. Lifestyle. Obligations. Work. Home. Health. Reports. Projects….and the shrimp dying.  And other people in between us.

And so we dared each other in an attempt perhaps to hasten the end.  You asked if i can handle it like she did.  She was able to handle it.  Can you? And i stopped.  The pieces of my heart breaking in splinters with just one question.  My head spun.  And there i realized that you were on a virtual rebound.  And i only simply happened.

So i lowered my head to the desk.  And reminded myself to breath.  It was time to walk away.  And i did without you even noticing that i was already far gone.  I crept back to the door that i once came from.  I locked it and threw the keys away.

I have to tell myself to keep breathing. And to come back to the person i once was before we met.

The storm is coming, but I don’t mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.

All that I know is I’m breathing now.

I want to change the world, instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is I’m breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing.

All we can do is keep breathing now.

Tomorrow, i’ll be fine.

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